Evidence that you visit Starbucks too much

About an hour ago, you were walking down the sidewalk (on the way to Starbucks, of course). From a passing Jeep on the opposite side of the street you hear a shout, “get your mocha!”. You look up and over and recognize the friendly barista that often serves your favorite beverage driving by, smiling and waving. It’s then that you almost decide to turn around. But no — you’re hooked.


  1. They put crack in that stuff, I tell ya! Mmmm…. Ice Latte.

  2. Mike says:

    not only starbucks & baristas but also bars & bartenders, bowling alleys & managers, and brothels & prostitutes!

  3. Jesse says:

    Yeah, they have my venti chai ready for me before I reach the front of the line.
    It’s more expensive than smoking :(

  4. luxuryluke says:

    I walk in there for a new I-V every moment that i have free.
    it’s more expensive than a whole BOX of Total.

  5. Ryan says:

    Don’t quit going. It’ll be a great story for your grandkids.
    “I remember back in the good’le days when Starbucks was just a coffee chain. No, no, sonny, they weren’t always the charter member of World Government.”

  6. jes says:

    Stop going?
    If you can even have that thought, you can still be saved. I have accepted my habit, knowing that I cannot just stop whenever I want to.
    Quad Lattes, “Tastier than crack, and more socially acceptable!”

  7. Dave S. says:

    I just noticed this morning that the seasonal pumpkin lattes are back again. It’s only August, but damn if that doesn’t sound good.

  8. I was at the mall once with the gal I was dating, and this other gal walked up, gave me a hug, and said, “Hey Jeff, I’ve missed you! I haven’t seen you in over a week!” After she left, my girlfriend was very curious to discover why I had seen this girl a week ago, and why she seemed to think that was such a long time to go without me. I had the hardest time convincing her of the truth: that the girl was my waitress for my midnight Denny’s runs.

  9. DaveE says:

    Yeah, it gets stranger. I’ve been known to date a few local baristas. Got to know them so well just being there every five freaking minutes.

  10. MIND Justin says:

    My parents say I have a computer addiction, pfff I don’t get a headache if I don’t sit behind the computer, I can get true my day without having to look at my laptop first thing in the morning.
    I went 3 weeks clean of computers this vacation, I wish they could say the same about coffee.
    So hey why don’t you guys stop drinking coffee, or at least start drinking less coffee? Does it get you paid? NOO it doesn’t. (well for some maybe)
    Then you can also say you went 3 weeks clean next vacation.

  11. Adam Thody says:

    I had a similar moment the other day…sitting on the subway I see this guy who I swear I know…but can’t place him. Only to realize he works at my Starbucks. Yes, MY Starbucks. They’re different people when they’re not in uniform…imagine that.
    I haven’t had my Chai Latte in almost a week! :(

  12. Dale Cruse says:

    Pumpkin coffee? No no no no no. How about coffee flavored coffee? Gimme some of that.
    Dan, have you tried Peet’s?

  13. neil says:

    Is this the beginning of the 2nd person perspective (ala hivelogic) in Simplebits? Or am I suddenly in a Choose Your Own Adventure book? ;)

  14. luxuryluke says:

    CYOAdventure, that’s golden!
    Coffee flavoured coffee?
    this has gone too far!
    [sip, sip] mmmmmm

  15. luxuryluke says:

    Peets is actually quite good.
    Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is realllllly good. …at least in Long Beach….

  16. dwin says:

    Hey now, there’s no reason to join any sort of coffee cessation bandwagon.
    Apparently, it’s good for you.

  17. Starbucks unfortunately still hasn’t conquered Italy. Fear of real expresso and cappuccino maybe?

  18. Ian Brown says:

    I have the same problem with the bakery. I go in there, they already have my bagel, my cookie and my coffee there as they see me walk through. It’s awful!

  19. Matt Ramos says:

    More of a Dunkin Donuts fan myself. Starbucks is expensive.
    Mocha Iced Latte 8D

  20. I used to be a Starbucks barista. It was enough to get me hopelessly hooked. Since the summer is over and I am again a broke college student, I have been getting green iced teas instead of my usual caramel macchiato.

  21. Jeremy says:

    I think you all need to be delocated.

  22. James Koole says:

    When you start visiting locations in cities 3000km from each other (ie. Vancouver and Toronto) and you start recognizing baristas that have moved, and they still remember your drink, then you know you are in deeeeeep.

  23. Chris says:

    I’ve got one better. When I lived near college, I ate a lot of Papa Johns pizza. When I moved across town to a new house, I ordered form the same place . When the driver delivered to the new house for the first time, he pointed at me and recited my old address.

  24. Joel VanAtta says:

    I don’t drink coffee. I don’t need the caffeine.
    However, I’ll have a hot chocolate from Panera.

  25. My friendly neighborhood barista knows exactly what I drink. She should, I live with her.

  26. Yeah. Eventually you remember the regular’s drinks. Many people came into sbux twice a day everyday. It is especially crazy when you remeber the weird drinks like: 2 pumps mocha, 185 degrees, 18 second shots, etc.
    It is expensive but I enjoy sitting there in the cafe. Although, I do wish that they would offer free wireless instead of the T-Mobile hotspot.

  27. Joe Stump says:

    Starbucks tastes like burnt coffee to me. I stick with Seattle’s Best or Tully’s here in Seattle.

  28. Andrew says:

    I quit going to starbucks because of that God awful ethos water campaign. They make a huge ass profit on water by marketing it as charity. Only 5 cents per bottle goes to charity; it’s sick. I’ve started to go to Caffe Ladro here in Seattle.

  29. Denis says:

    Some wierd sh*t they put in them coffees!
    “Thank you for purchasing at Starbucks! Where we know that you shall be coming back for more tomorrow!”….. coffee warfare !

  30. Seb says:

    (Un)fortunately, there’s no Starbucks in France. But I get addicted as soon as I cross the Channel…

  31. David says:

    Starbucks is now beginning to really conquer Germany. More and more of them are opening up around Munich, and there’ll be one very close to my place in November… damn it, I sure love this, but it’s gonna be sooooooo expensive…

  32. Bruno Girin says:

    Ah but there’s also the friendliness of the Starbucks barista to take into account. Where I live we have no less than 4 Starbucks in the high street. The smallest one of them all used to be the most crowded because the team of barista were very friendly. I knew them all by name and I would go there just to have a chat (and a mocha, no cream please). Now that they’ve all changed jobs, I nearly never go to that Starbucks and I’m not the only one because it’s not that busy anymore.
    It also reminds me of this project I did in Dubai once. It carried on for a few months and I was staying in the Crowne Plaza there (those were the good old days of the Internet bubble when we were all flying business class and staying in 5 star hotels). I realised I had been in that hotel too long when I noticed that the head waiter in one of the restaurants would mark my order as VVIP when sending it to the kitchen and the bar staff in the pub would start pouring a pint of Heineken when I walked through the door.

  33. Knut K. says:

    Gna, I wish I had one around here. But I can imagine what it´s like to get “starbucked”. I find myself in the cafeteria of the university almost daily (during semester).

  34. Mau says:

    Ohh!!! Iced Mint Mocha!!! that one rocks… The cold mint gives a special rush…
    If you like different specialty items, you can then drive your Barista crazy by switching every now and then… but then, for some reason, they are able to figure your pattern… at that point, it is really scary. =)
    I haven’t stopped at a Starbucks lately because my company provides non-stop coffee all day… =) a nice freebie!

  35. Chet says:

    Grande Chocolate Brownie Frapatino. I choose this over Web Development… and That’s HIGH!

  36. Andrey says:

    Heh :) ‘Mocha’ in russian transcription is ‘urine’

  37. Mau says:

    - – Heh :) ‘Mocha’ in russian transcription is ‘urine’
    Poop… Oh well… I think I’ll still like my Iced Mint Chocolate-Flavored Coffee… Yay!

  38. Jared says:

    I used to date a barista. $5 coffee tastes better when it’s free. Proven fact.

  39. Paul V says:

    Peet’s in Pasadena (Lake & California) is usually my hang, but lately with the staff turnover there, I can’t rely on a good espresso or simple macchiato.
    Just up the street, at Wheatberry, I’ve been served up some serious coffee. On most days, it’s a serious contender. And free wi-fi, too!
    But the one thing I can say about Starbucks is that it is really consistent no matter where you go in the world. I’ve been to SBUX in Edinburgh, London, Tokyo…and they were all great. The traveller’s best friend!

  40. cafecing says:

    “I’ve been to SBUX in Edinburgh, London, Tokyo”… reminds me of the cnn team at sydney olympics shipping in several tonnes of starbucks coffee… there are great coffee places out there that dont involve multinationals! you might meet some baristas that get paid a decent wage at the same time… (outside of the states theres not much tipping and starbucks is famous for paying below-average…)

  41. Rafi B. says:

    For a nation that is so hooked on coffee, the Americans are addicted to the worse coffee…
    Sour and expensive.

  42. TRG says:

    Up in Canada, we have something better :O
    Tim Hortons where i live settled right next door to sbux and drove them straight out of business. now the only one left is embedded in a chapters store, and it is within spitting-distance of two separate Timmies.

  43. TRG says:

    I would also like to seriously reccomend immigration for anyone who like better coffee, and Real Beer :O I’m serious. Canadian beer is much stronger than american water. And we canadians take hordes of Tim-Hortons coffee with us everywhere. We brought 1Kg of coffee with us to florida on a vacation. Tim Hortons has slowed the march of sbux into canada, by sheer force.

  44. Seb-
    There are definitely Starbucks in France, click here for the store locator. But don’t blame me when you can’t stop.

  45. While I’ve gotten off the daily need for coffee, I am hooked on Peets coffee every weekend.

  46. Stu Schaff says:

    I’m not sure how, but I was conned into having 3 meetings there this week. Crap.

  47. I would visit starbucks more if I could find the other two around where I live. I know where one is but its so far out of the way of my school.
    Until I find a closer one or I convince my family that I need a $100 Starbucks card. I’m drinking the Tazo Calm Herbal Tea until either one of those things happen.

  48. Mark says:

    Boy am I glad I don’t drink coffee. I’ll put those $4 saved each day towards a different habit that’s less addicting and cheaper, like crack!

  49. graphxguy says:

    Your barrista (two “R”s?) probably thinks you’re cute.
    My coffee addiction seems to be starting. Does that happen when you approach 30?

  50. Aron says:

    I fully agree with Jeremy:
    “I think you all need to be delocated.”

  51. I hate to be the wet blanket here, but Caribou Coffee beats the socks off of Starbucks (not that Starbucks is bad, they’re just not as good).

  52. luxuryluke says:

    Love the delocator service.
    It’s quite sad when the result says:
    “14 Starbucks Stores found within 5 miles of 90803″

  53. Natasha says:

    For a nearly as addictive change minus all the caffiene: Vanilla Bean Frappichino.

  54. I don’t even give my Starbucks my order. When they see me, they automatically make it and sometimes hand it to me before I even get a chance to pay.
    Venti Mint Mocha Chip frappachino, baby. No whip.

  55. Crano says:

    Now I totally want my morning kick of Starbucks, sigh… My wife wont let me spend the 10 Dollars for both of us.
    Mmmmm Venti White Chocolate Mocha
    Closer to Christmas is the Gingerbread Latte.

  56. Nick P says:

    Here in the UK my “pusher” of choice is Nero’s. The coffee is much better – and more importantly stronger – than StarBucks

  57. Kelly says:

    I’m a barista and we are actually encouraged to remember peoples’ orders :) It helps complete the “Starbucks experience”. lol. Keep going though! Regulars always get the “hook up”!!!
    And ya, Starbucks are now in Fall mode…. mmmm pumpkin :)

  58. Hector says:

    Thought you might appreciate this flash animation (Parental Advisory Explicit Content): http://www.illwillpress.com/sml.html
    I can’t seem to stop going myself!

  59. Brad Smithee says:

    So this means I’m fortunate the the Starbucks chain doesn’t exist in my area? I’ve never actually been to one; moreover, even seen one in my state entirely. The only thoughts that flow into my mind when I hear the term, ‘barrista’, is perhaps some extravagant piece of mexican siege equipment.

  60. Starbucks is great on convenience. There’s one on every bloody corner which makes it easy to get a caffeine fix on a road trip.
    However, if you remove all the cream, sugar and syrups from the coffee (what they call a “drip”) then it really isn’t that good. For this form of coffee drinking I prefer Pete’s Coffee. It has a much more, uh embodied I guess would be the word, taste to it. It tends to be a tad bit stronger too, so watch out.
    I’ve heard good things of a place called “Seattle’s Best Coffee” in Borders as well but have yet to try it.

  61. Trevor says:

    In the UK Caffe Nero is definitely the place to get coffee. It’s stronger and cheaper. A shame their decor makes the place look like a prison.
    Costa have cuter baristas, Starbucks have comfier chairs.

  62. Sebhelyesfarku says:

    Starbucks is the same USA dreck like mcdonalds. Junk cafe junk food junk people.

  63. Chris Mear says:

    Don’t you people know that it’s not cool to like Starbucks?
    Local, privately-owned cafes full of foreign students and interesting baguettes. That’s were the action is!

  64. Justin Britt says:

    We didn’t get Starbucks in Kauai until 6 months ago. It’s all the way in town (about 45 minutes away) so I’ve never been. But here in Hawaii, coffee isn’t really that big. Who knows, maybe we’ll get addicted now that the big coffee chain is here.

  65. David Zemens says:

    I enjoy a Starbucks once in awhile. In my area I usually frequent Caribou Coffee, which is a relatively small chain of coffee shops in Michigan (and other states, perhaps?). Caribou Coffee knows how to make a machiato correctly, which is something that I cannot say about Starbucks.

  66. Mark says:

    Congratulations on the bit off the old byte Dan.

  67. Mike Karolow says:

    Dan, you should really check out Front St. if you havn’t already. They’re closer to your office than Starbucks and serve sandwitches too.
    Also, they’re part of salemopen.net, a heck of alot better than Starbuck’s T-Moblie Wi-Fi.

  68. Hurt says:

    When the word “Venti” gives you tingly feelings. If your are capable. Check url for details.

  69. Rick Woods says:

    Ummmm… Venti Carmel Machiato, with enough carmel to make your teeth hurt… it’s codeing fuel!

  70. Mike – Right on, re: Front St. I’m a regular there for the sandwiches, but have yet to get a latte that rivals Starbucks. I’d much rather support the indy in town, and perhaps I should give them another shot in the mocha department. But it’s just been too inconsistent for me (ditto at Fuel).
    You’ve reminded me of an incredible annoyance I have with the Starbucks in Salem. There’s the wonderfully beautiful free open wi-fi here throughout the downtown, yet Starbucks chooses to stick with T-Mobile, which costs $$. Terrible. And not exactly embracing the community there.

  71. Fabiana says:

    I work at Second Cup….
    It’s so clear in costumer’s eyes that they’re actually adicted. And coffee chains make more profit than banks!
    This is the kind of culture we’re in: we need kick ups every hour in order to function ‘normally’ – but where the hell is this pattern leading us?? I’d prefer the leisurefull and unique natural hype.

  72. luxuryluke says:

    Mmmmmm….natural hype….. [homer drool]

  73. lee says:

    starbucks is pure evil. support the little guy for heavens sake!

  74. Kyle Posey says:

    It’s only an addiction if you want to quit, and who would want to do that?
    My Starbucks has a great location… right next to a Panera Bread with free wifi. Best of both worlds.

  75. Natso says:

    what’s funny, is that at least in our town, you can almost always tell what certain people will order as they walk in, even if you don’t work there. All the high schoolers in our area always order a venti extra caramel caramel macciato or “something that doesn’t taste like coffee…” That comment cracks me up, it never fails about once a week you hear someone say, what do you have that doesn’t taste like/have coffee in it? It’s like you can’t help but wonder, what’s the point right? I also like getting the “secret” drinks, things that aren’t on the menu but are well known, like a red-eye, a black-eye, a blended strawberry lemonade, or a tuxedo/zebra mocha. Wow… I am in so deep, this is so so sad.